His hand shoved the gear stick into park. This was the part of farming that he despised more than any other. Staring at the sign on the door that said “United States Department of Agriculture”, he exhaled a deep breath, opened his truck door and walked into the local Farm Service Agency.

            He was greeted by his favorite Program Technician, Shandy. She always had a smile- as long as she was in a good mood. He preferred turning around and walking out the door if she wasn’t. The other ladies in the office were ok but he knew Shandy would help him wade through the government red tape of subsidy regulations required for Farmers. Thankfully Shandy waved him on back and he briskly walked to her desk. Sitting down, he placed his notebook with his planting dates on her desk. His stomach curled as if he were awaiting a root canal to begin. Shandy looked up and smiled and he began to relax. He had many questions about the upcoming New Farm Bill and he knew she would explain them so he could understand them. Why they had to make all this so complicated was beyond his comprehension but it was just part of farm life.

            Shandy got up to get his farm folders; all 43 of them. There was a folder for each of the farms that he cropped. He sat back in his chair. He was going to be here for a while. As he settled into the office atmosphere some of the other Program Technicians greeted him and briefly chatted with him then went back to their own work. He looked around the office. Stacks of folders of different colors were piled high in several areas of the office. How they kept up with all this just amazed him.

            “Want to start with Farm 2544? That’s Mr. Cotham’s farm right?” she asked as she opened the farm folder and took out a set of maps. The black and white aerial photographs had the farm boundaries outlined and the amount of acres was written on each field. Luke nodded as he took the map and attempted to focus on exactly where he was on the map. He’d spent hours, no, days on that farm and yet it took him a little bit to figure out the map. Looking at it from a “bird’s eye view” was not the view he was used to. Finally it began to make sense and he pointed to the fields he’d planted in corn, soybeans, grain sorghum and what he had in pasture and hay. He always forgot to give her the plant date and would have to go back and look it up. He was glad he remembered his notebook. He’d forgotten it in times past and had to travel the 18 miles back home to retrieve it then return to report his crops.

            Luke began looking at the second farm’s maps as Shandy turned to her computer to enter the cropping data into the system. He looked up only briefly as she fussed at the computer and then soothed it with successfully entering the code. He wondered how they knew what codes to use. It all was too mind-boggling for him. He was just glad that Shandy understood it enough to process his paperwork.

            The buzz of his cell phone pulled his focus out of the government rules and regulations and to the in coming call. He snapped it opened and saw it was Kathy. “Hey, where are you?” He told her he was still at the FSA office. She never seemed to comprehend the vast amount of time it took to satisfy Uncle Sam. “Well, don’t forget to pick up your suit at the cleaners for tomorrow nights party.” The statement hit him in the gut but he tucked it deep within, said ok and hung up. 

            Apologizing for the interruption, Luke turned his attention back to the mass of maps in front of him. He looked at each field on the maps as they went through the stack. It sickened him as he automatically pulled a mental picture of those very crops burning up in the extreme heat and drought at that same moment. He asked Shandy about the disaster programs he’d heard about on the radio. She began spilling off requirements that he would have to meet and production evidence he would have to provide. It’d been a long time since it had been this dry along with the extreme heat. The corn was twisting with thirst, the beans… well; some of the blooms were falling off with no chance of a recovery without any rain. The pasture was gone; burnt to a crunchy crisp when you walked over it. The hay fields just could not make enough to provide feed for his cattle for the winter.

            Shandy turned to Luke and handed him a summary of his reported crops.
Here’s your 578 summary, you’ll need to give this to your crop insurance company. He took the report from her hand as she sadly cautioned him. “Luke, we’ve got the disaster programs coming up and they will help a little, but from the calculations we’ve already looked at, it’s not going to be much. I just didn’t want you to be expecting a large payment.” He nodded his head, “Yeah, it’s usually more media hype than help.” Shandy agreed. Snapping the folded report in his hand he rose from his chair and smiled a broad smile. “But, every little bit helps, and I appreciate you helping me today.” She smiled back at him as they said their good-byes.

            It was past lunchtime when he left the FSA office so he pulled up to the quick stop to fill up his truck and grab a fast lunch inside. Keath Thomas was at the next pump. “Hey Luke! How’s it going?” Luke turned to his friend and greeted him with a hefty handshake. They exchanged sad stories of scorched crops and low expected yields as a hot gust of dry July wind whipped around the pump. “Need rain, Luke.” Keath said somberly. Luke looked at the all too familiar pain in his friend’s eyes. He remembered last year when Keath’s combine caught on fire just days after his best friend dropped dead with a heart attack. Combining wheat always produces a chance of the wheat chaff catching on fire. Keath had barely made it out of the combine and refused to stop fighting the fire until someone came up and pulled him away. Luke looked down at Keath’s hands as he pulled the diesel pump nozzle from his truck tank and hung it back on the pump rest. The scars from that fire still marred his hands. Luke, along with other neighborhood farmers had stopped their own wheat harvest and cut not only Keath’s wheat as he lay in the hospital burn unit, but Gim’s wheat also. Gim and Keath both farmed separately on paper but the two were always farming together as a team. They took their equipment to the same area and worked each other’s land until it was done, then they would move to another area and do the same. For Gim to die so suddenly and then the wheat fire, Luke had really worried about his friend. Now this year’s crops were parched in the fields.

            “Know anything about that cultivator over on Jolley Springs Rd?” Luke asked Keath, changing the subject. “Yeah, Eric Coates had it for a while, and then sold it to Jimbo Denning. I think its pretty sound. You know both of them take care of their equipment.” Keath nodded in agreement saying how he was going to have to do something, that he’d always used Gim’s and now that was gone when they sold all of Gim’s equipment in the sale last winter. “I just couldn’t afford to buy everything all at one time. We shared so much so neither of us had to own equipment that we only used from time to time.” He sorrowfully explained. Luke nodded in understanding.

            Luke hung his diesel nozzle on the pump and took his printed receipt. “How bout some lunch?” Keath turned, “I’d like to but gotta get back. That steer is still having problems; gotta stop by the Co-Op. If I don’t vaccinate him again soon I don’t think he’ll make it.” Luke waved to his friend as he walked toward the store yelling for him to take care.

            Inside Luke wandered over to the heat lamp warmed display of fried chicken and tater wedges. Placing his order he caught a glimpse of the new tobacco display. Grabbing a couple boxes of dip, a snickers bar and a coke from the iced barrel he made his way up to the checkout. Sometimes it’s the simple things that will get one through the day.  He noticed a young couple hanging all over each other. He remembered days like that with Kathy. He ached for those days to return. She was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Her smile still made his heart skip a beat. He loved pulling her into his arms for a long, penetrating kiss. She was no longer interested. Her days were busy with other interests that did not include him. When they did he felt so out of place. He just preferred to be back on the farm with his cattle and tractors.

            Slamming the truck door shut he turned the key of the ignition. Tossing his bag of food up on the dash he shoved it into first gear and pulled away. He waited for the traffic to clear. That’s when he noticed the bill on the dash under his lunch. “Damn!” He turned the truck in the other direction of the traffic. He’d forgotten to go by and pay the John Deere dealership for the parts he’d ordered. That had to be done immediately or they’d charge him a steep late fee. Well, he needed some more grease for the combine anyway. So Luke headed up the highway, munching on the greasy, fried chicken and humming “Amarillo Sky” that was playing on the country radio station.

            The John Deere dealership was always a busy place. Break downs and maintenance always kept the local farmers in need of something. Luke noticed David Sutterfield as he walked in. he was talking to Johnny, the owner about trading tractors. Luke walked up and joined them. “How’s it going Luke?” asked Johnny, “Hi Luke.” David greeted. Luke greeted them as well. “You hear what wheat did yesterday?!” exclaimed David. Luke answered that he had. “Jumped up forty cents!” he howled. “I’m telling ya’ it keeps climbing, there’ll be more wheat planted this fall than we’ve seen in a long time!” Luke agreed and then said, “Just wish corn would do the same. Course, it’s not going to matter if this crop doesn’t get some rain soon.” The men stood there discussing the grain market, futures and the yield they feared would be at an all time low this year.

            Luke paid his parts bill; along with getting some combine grease and some bearings for his 4455 tractor. He ordered some disc blades and some brushings then made his exit. He reminded himself not to forget to pick up that damned suit. Huh! Monkey suit was a better description.

            Once again in his truck Luke headed to the granary to pick up his check for the soybeans he’d delivered last week. Ralph seemed to be in rare form today. Hootin’ and hollering about the lack of rain. Don Hoskins winked at Luke as he walked in. Luke and Don sat back and watched the show as Ralph ranted and raved with Billy about things that were beyond their control. Ralph had over a thousand acres of cotton and only a couple of weeks ago it was expected to be a bumper crop but the heat had scorched it till just making enough to cover the planting and spraying expenses would be wonderful. Finally Ralph noticed someone else had joined their company and hollered for Penny to get Luke’s bean check for him.

            Penny was always efficient and smiled at Luke as she handed him his summary sheet along with his check. “How’s Kathy?” she inquired. Luke assured her she was fine. “Getting excited about a party we’ve been invited to tomorrow night.” Penny smiled again. “Sounds like fun, tell her I said hello.” Luke smiled back and hollered “will do!” over his shoulder as he walked out of the tiny office.

            He looked at the check as he tossed it on his dash. He needed it to be twice that amount. How was he going to pay the bank come October? Sometimes he felt he was in a vicious cycle with no way out. Well, he’d think of something. He usually did.  He’d just have to consider another avenue of income. He’d heard there was a growing market for Straw. Maybe he could incorporate that in with his other crops and make a little extra. Research; he’d need to do some research on that he decided.

            Pulling into his long driveway he looked at his house as if he’d never seen it before. It was a nice house; built several years ago but to the desires of his and his lady’s wishes. It wasn’t a mansion but no hut either by no means. Kathy kept the yard immaculate and decorated with flower beds and yard ornaments. It was a nice place to call home. Hmmm, he thought. “Home”, it used to be a happy home. Still was to a degree but something had been missing for a long time. He thought he’d made her happy; provided her a nice income, a nice home, a gentle husband. He always made sure she had a nice car to drive, at the moment it was an emerald Lexus. He had a little nest egg stashed away to grow for their retirement years. He worked hard to make sure she had what she needed and also what she desired. If she wanted to work part time that was fine with him, if she wanted to stay home and raise Kadi that was fine too. With all his might he could not understand where they had gone wrong. Now Kadi was off at college and the house was way to quite without their little girl.

            He parked the truck down by the shop, unloaded the parts and headed for the barn to check on the cows that had come up for their evening feeding. Supplements had to be added to their diet since there was very little pasture left and the hay he was already being forced to feed was not that great of a quality. The Co-Op kept an ample supply of such additives but they were so expensive! But if you had cattle, you have to keep them healthy.  Too much of one thing or another would bring them down in a heartbeat. He made a mental note to search the internet later tonight for hay. Maybe he could find some to truck in from the Midwest. The transportation expense usually stopped most but he had to feed his cows something!

            Feeding the cows was always a joy for him. They would bellow and moo as they followed him around like puppies. He always seemed to get too attached to them and when it came time to take them to the sale barn or slaughter house it always made him sad. He stopped naming them after Kadi grew out of her interest for them. Names only made it more difficult to part company. He glanced across his herd quickly counting them. Yep, forty seven; all accounted for. Even his bull was eager to come up today. 

            It was then that he noticed the young white faced heifer limping. His troubled brow wrinkled up as he focused in on the injured animal. He made his way over to her slowly as not to frighten the pain filled creature.  He patted her back and talked soothing to her as he examined the swollen leg. A snake bite was his best guess. With Jep assisting with his barks and nips, he parted the other cows and guided the heifer into the barn. Hobbling slowly she did not object. Locking the gate behind him, Luke felt of the leg again. Hot with fever and infection. He had to do something quick. He went to the old refrigerator where he kept his stock of medications for his animals and pulled out the antibiotics along with a syringe. Jep curled up against the wall just to watch the show. His job was done. Luke went back to the heifer. He lanced the puffy area and let the poison ooze. He poured Hydrogen peroxide liberally all over the wound allowing it to bubble and fizz then applied ointment and wrapped it with a clean cloth. That done he gave the cow a hefty shot of antibiotics praying it wasn’t too late.

            The door to the closed-in back porch seemed heavy as he turned the knob. Sitting down in his favorite rocking chair, he unlaced this boots. He reclined into the chair and fell into a slight rock. It had been a long day and he was exhausted. The scent of roast and cornbread encouraged him to get his boots off and make his way into the house.

            The kitchen smelled wonderful. Kathy had been up to her usual kitchen magic. She’d made fresh corn on the cob, mashed potatoes and black eye peas along with the roast and cornbread. On the counter he spied a fresh apple pie. Kathy loved to cook and he loved eating what she cooked. It was one thing they still had in common.

            He heard Kathy’s voice on the phone in the next room. As he walked in she handed the phone to him. “It’s Kadi; I’ll set the dinner table.” He took the phone to hear his little girl’s voice on the other end. “Hi Daddy.” came her sweet greeting. He loved hearing her voice. It was as delicate as rose pedals. “So, which hat did you wear today Daddy?” she asked. His low, deep throat chuckle was what Kadi wanted to hear. “Well, let’s see,” He began. “I wore the business man’s hat this morning, the stock broker’s hat this afternoon, the mechanic’s hat, Oh! And the vet’s hat this evening.” He chuckled again. Kadi always understood him when no one else seemed to. His daughter knew how diverse a man must be to be a successful farmer. If no one else understood, at least his little girl did.

            Kathy stood at the kitchen rinsing her hands. Luke came up behind her and placed his hands on her hips. She shrugged away turning the subject back to Kadi as she placed the potatoes on the table and sat down. “Kadi seemed in a good mood, she doesn’t seem to miss coming home this summer. I think it’s great she’s dedicated to her degree enough to take the summer classes.” Luke agreed as he dipped into the black eye peas. Discussion of their daughter’s progress as a college student continued to be the focus of the conversation throughout the meal. Kathy’s head popped up as he took his first bite of apple pie. “Did you get your suit from the cleaners today?” He froze in mid bite. She knew he’d forgotten just by the look on his face. Jumping up immediately Kathy threw her napkin down and marched out of the room. Luke put down his fork and closed his eyes. 

            She was already in the bed when he stepped out of the shower. As he dressed for bed the tension was thick enough to slice. He sat down on his side of the bed and then reclined onto his pillow. “I’ll pick it up tomorrow.” He said calmly. She rolled over, punched her pillow and flopped down onto it in silence.

            Morning seemed to come way too soon. Hitting the alarm Luke sat up. He looked over his shoulder at his wife. She was still beautiful after all these years. God he ached for her. He wanted to reach out and touch her. But that would only bring more anger from her. With that thought he got up. He had a full day ahead of him.

            Jep was waiting for him at the back door. Reaching down to rub him behind his ears Luke spoke affectionate words to his blue heeler. Giving him a final pat Luke stood back up and looked out towards the barn. He hoped he’d find the heifer in better health this morning. Jep followed him every step as he always did until he reached the stall that the heifer rested in. Luke checked the leg and it seemed to have improved. He gave her another shot of antibiotics and decided to leave her up for a day or two.

            After feeding the rest of the cattle Luke headed for the shop. There he paid bills and checked the grain market and the weather on the DTN. The corn market was still going down and the wheat market still rising. Soybeans were at an all time low. And that was what he had in his grain bins. One could go crazy trying to figure out the grain market. He almost had the coffee ready when the phone rang. It was Jerry, just up the road. Cows were out. Luke scrambled to his feet, ran out of the shop, jumped in his truck, Jep leaping into the back and they took off down the road. Sure enough, the fence had given way and the cows walked right over it. Jep, Jerry and Luke worked until they had all 9 of the cows back in the pasture. Reaching for his pliers from his truck tool box he searched for the roll of wire he always kept for such emergencies. Jerry patiently helped him hold the wire tight until Luke could twist it into a permanent barer across the slouching fence wire.

            It was 10:30 and he had nothing to show for his morning except recovering the escaped cows and repairing the fence. Luke headed back to the shop where he found 6 messages for him on the shop phone. One from the bank, needed to discuss his crop loan; one from the granary wanting him to sell some more beans (why of course they did, since they were so low!); One from Mr. Cotham wanting to know how his crops were going to yield this year since it was so dry; One from the Farm Bureau concerning the claim from his storage barn that burned last spring; One from Shandy at the FSA office, she’d found an error on the crop reports they did yesterday, and the last call from the Co-Op, wanting to know how much fertilizer he was going to need to be spread on his pasture. He huffed, as dry as it was fertilizer would just burn up the fields. Guess everyone was trying to just squeeze every drop of money out of any resource. The drought was taking its toll on all local Ag related businesses. He didn’t blame the Co-Op, they, like he, were still hoping for rain. He called The Farm Bureau, the Co-Op, Mr. Cotham, Shandy and the Bank but elected not to bother with the granary for the time being.  

            Grabbing another breakfast bar he headed for the tractor with his spray rig hooked to it. He had to get those beans sprayed before they got any bigger or it would not be possible to spray them. If he didn’t get them sprayed the weeds would take over before time to harvest. He quickly calculated the number of acres he still lacked along with the time frame he needed to get the job done. Too many acres, not enough man hours before the soybeans and the weeds would be too big. That’s when he heard the bam! He eased the tractor’s throttle down and looked back. One boom of the spray rig was flapping like a broken arm. He’d hit a root or a rock and the boom had broken. He stopped the sprayer, lifted it up and headed for the shop. Down time was not figured in his earlier calculations and this only made him further behind. He had to hurry.

            He was struggling to get that stubborn bolt off of the sprayer when it hit him about the suit still at the dry cleaners. He checked his watch, after three. He’d have to rush to get to town in time to get that damned suit. Throwing the wrench a little too hard into the tool box he cleaned his hands quickly before jumping into his truck again and heading the 16 miles towards town.  As he passed his scorched crops the sick feeling in his gut hit him with a vengeance. Last spring he’d been so hopeful for a good crop year as he planted his crops. Then the late freeze hit and his tender 2 inch high corn died of frost bite along with most of the ornamental trees in their yard. Replanting corn is never fun but a necessity especially since the expensive fertilizer had already been spread for the year. Some of the replanted corn never saw a drop of rain. It poked its little head up out of the cracked soil determined to survive. Now the stalks were weak from the drought and the corn would begin to fall down soon and it’s not even near time to shell corn. One can’t combine corn stalks lying on the ground. He’d heard of a guy east of here that had made some kind of contraption that he attached to his combine that helped rake the down stalks into the combine throat. He’d have to check on that. It looked like he was going to need one if he was going to get any yield at all.

            Luke arrived at the dry cleaners just in time to pick up his monkey suit. He would rather take a beating as to go to this ritzy fund raiser this evening, but it meant a lot to Kathy so he would go. She loved raising money for good causes and this was indeed a good cause. People around town called Kathy an angel because she was always helping someone with something. He just wished she would help him with their marriage. He really missed the closeness they used to have.

            Kathy was in good spirits when he walked in the house. She was dressed and looked as ravishing as he’d ever seen her. “Wow! You look nice Baby.” He smiled. She turned and saw he had his suit and breathed a sign of relief and babbled on about who was going to be there and how prominent they were. He loved seeing her eyes sparkle like that. Heading to the shower he heard her shout to hurry, they couldn’t be late.

            People were already everywhere when they arrived. Escorting his wife into the party they were greeted by many people he did not know. All seemed to know Kathy. He felt rather out of place with his tanned face and white forehead. Farmer’s tan is what they called it. Too many days with a cap on basking in the sun in the fields while planting and spraying the crops that provided their income. Attempting to find something useful to do he excused himself to retrieve a couple of drinks for Kathy and him.

            Working his way through the crowd with two drinks in his hands he could see her on the other side of the room. Sparkling like a diamond. She was indeed a gorgeous lady and he was so proud that she was his wife.  Just as he approached her and the lady she was talking to he was just about the proudest man on earth- until the words of their conversation touched his ears. What he heard cut him to his very core, his very being. He nearly dropped the two drinks in his hands. The woman had politely asked Kathy what her husband did. Kathy dropped her head and with a flushed, embarrassed face she said, “Oh, he’s just a farmer.”